It's getting harder and harder for me to even think about chemo. Tomorrow I see my oncologist and have blood work (she's not working Thursday) and even writing this I am feeling anxious. I was putting all my appointments in my blackberry last night and my stomach was in knots. I'm not really sure how I'm going to get through these last 4 but I have no choice. I'm thinking that perhaps a sleeping pill or something and just sleep the whole time. There are private rooms in the chemo suite so perhaps asking for one of those?! I'll see tomorrow what the doctor says.
I'm still really tired and feeling blah but the antibiotics could be doing that to. At this point I never know if it's just how I am feeling or side effects of meds. I'll be more then happy to be off all this crap and just work on feeling myself again. Family weekend I spent most of the time in bed while Kurt and our friend Nikki took the boys to various places; swimming, skating, play centre. I look forward to next year when I can actually do family things with my family. It's hard to not be able to participate in things with them but I'd rather the boys be out and happy then just stay home so I can see them. All things temporary.
I look forward to getting the 5th round and first of the Taxol (new drug) under my belt. I think some of my anxiety is likely from not knowing how this will all go. New drugs and new chemo drug so it's anyone's guess how it will go. They tell me that people find this part easier so here's hoping.
On a positive note, my nose is less running and my cough is getting better. I feel like the antibiotics are working and hoping that this cough is on its way out. A month and a half is long enough to cough I think.
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