It's all still so surreal.....

I have been finished treatment now for 5 days but it still has not sunk in.  Everyone asks me how I feel about being done but I don't feel anything right now.  I'm still dealing with the side effects of my last dose so it just feels the same as it always has.  I was happy to walk out and hear "You're cancer free" and get my certificate of completing chemo but it still did not sink in.  I am not sure when it will but when it does I am sure I'll be a bawling mess or else be smiling from ear to ear with tears running down my face.  Either way it will be a great moment. 

I have received so many beautiful flowers and a few amazing presents over the last week.  Cards, emails and phone calls marking the end of treatment.  So many of you have been on this journey with me, some from the very start and some who jumped in during.  Whoever you are and whenever you came in please know how gratful I am.  It's true what they say, you know who your friends are when the going gets tough.  But looking on this journey, I already knew who my true friends were.  And also those true friends of our family.  I have and continue to be so overwhelmed by everyone's love, support, prayers and well wishes.  I know this has been a very difficult journey for everyone too, one that I never wanted to have to have people ride with me.  But the support and love of everyone has made this nightmare so much more bearable. 

I look forward to moving forward and living my life.  First stop.....South Carolina for 2 weeks to reconnect with my kids and my husband.  Also to spend some time with my parents without the worry and stress of appointments and chemo.  As of May 1st my diet will change and I have to start my exercise plan.  I think it will take me all of May to just build up enough stamina to get back to the gym.  My goal is to hit the gym in June.  So if anyone feels like having a walking partner in May let me know.  I'll be out wandering the streets.  I managed not to gain or lose any weight during my treatments but I have lost a lot of strength and feel very weak.  To bad I wasn't able to work out when I was on those steroids.....I could be pretty kick ass right now. 

I am thankful to be healthy and to have made it through treatment.  Chemo has proven to be my greatest accomplishment so far.  I am pretty darn proud of myself right now.  But I know I didn't do it alone and for that I'm so grateful.