Saturday was my 34th birthday. A day that I was not sure I was going to see at times during the last few months. I have never really cared all that much about my birthday but this year I sure did!! I woke up to my boys and Kurt singing 'Happy Birthday' as they brought me breakfast in bed. We went to Chuck E Cheese at 9:30am for my "birthday party". Jack insists that if it's your birthday, that's where you go. I was met by my parents, Mommy friends, children and some of my high school girls. We had a great time playing games, eating pizza and hanging out. It really is a place "Where a kid can be a kid". I even rode the little kid merry-go-round with Sam and Jack. FUN!!! After that I went to the Spa with my Mom for 90min facials. SO relaxing and what a great Spa. I can't wait to go back on Friday for my pedicure. I came home to a homemade baked cake thanks to my boys (with some help from Kurt) and we ate cake at 4:30pm. Kurt and I went for a late sushi dinner with Lorri and Scott. My first sushi since my diagnosis. SO yummy and oh how I missed it. Overall, it was a great birthday. I cannot wait to have another 50 birthdays.
On Sunday, I went to family swim with Kurt and the boys. Our friend Nikki had been filling in for me during my treatment and taking the boys with Kurt. I was SO excited to finally be able to go with them. I sported my bald head and walked out proudly. I didn't care of notice if anyone looked at me. I was with my family and that's all that mattered. I did catch the lifeguard looking at me near the end with the "pity" look and just smiled at her. Jack had fun pouring water on my head to "make my hair grow".
It feels good to slowly be getting back to normal and to finally being able to feel well enough to do things with my family. I still think of caner every day and I had moments on my birthday where I was scared or sad hoping this was not my last birthday but, I try to push those thoughts out quickly. I try to enjoy each day and the moments that I am in. I think that I am having less "cancer moments". It's easier to stay busy and keep my mind off of it when I can actually do things. Before I would just lie in bed and think.
A friend of mine called me a "Survivor" the other day. It sort of caught me off guard. I have yet to think of myself as that. I have just done what the doctors told me to do and I have taken each day as it comes. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do and yes at times I had to really fight but I guess I don't yet feel like a survivor. I just feel like I did what I had to do. I suppose that feeling might come later. To be honest, I have yet to process the entire thing. I am sure I will at some point, and I hope I do, but everything has happened so quickly that I have just done what was presented to me.
The nice weather is coming, I am a year older and life is GOOD!!!!
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